Collateral Damage

There can be a  lot of collateral damage when there is a special needs child in the family.  Often times, siblings are forced to grow up faster and put things aside because of their sibling.  Resentment can grow between the children, between the parents and even between the parent and child.  There can be so much added stress on the family that can result in the family separating. 

Our goal has always been to give Allison her individual time and to pursue her activities.  The last couple of days have been spent doing just that.  She got some extra Mommy-Daughter time yesterday with tumbling class and then a trip to the mall to buy some shoes and get some ice cream.  I took her to Girl Scouts tonight even though I didn't really feel like it.  She had a blast.  Danny or my mom keeps Christopher so she doesn't have to share this time with her brother.  I try to keep her time for just her.  When I have Christopher along, I have a lot more anxiety and usually want to get done and out of there. 

When Christopher was receiving Birth to Three services it was difficult on Allison.  I would send her down to my mom's, outside, or to her room to play because she wanted to be in the middle of everything.  I tried to do things when she was at school or had other activities.  I would explain that she went to school and this was like Christopher's school, but through her eyes, Christopher got to play with some neat toys and she wasn't allowed.  Since he graduated and started pre-school that has been easier.  She asks about his school and wants to visit but he only has school when she does too.

Allison has been a great helper and she might be growing up a little faster than she would have otherwise but she is fulfilling her role of big sister.  I think that would have happened Autism or not.  They are able to go outside and play and she will help keep an eye on Christopher.  She can turn his cartoons on the television and play Nintendo DS with him.  And like any big sister would, she gets aggrevated when he comes in her room and its not under her terms.  And if anything gets lost or broken, Christopher did it.