Things have been going exceptionally well....at least for Christopher. He was home from school last week after he lost his voice but he's more than made up for that this week. My husband and I have decided that we take turns fretting about the future. So right now it's my turn.
Christopher is in his last year of pre-k and goes off to Kindergarten next fall. Normally I wouldn't mind such a milestone. We even started Allison a year early because she was so smart....sometimes I regret that but she wouldn't have the friends she has or be who she is if we had done it differently. My strong almost 9 year old is in 4th grade and doing awesome. She is in the advanced math group and has always been in the top of percentile for reading. I think it is because things have come so easily for her that I fret over Christopher. By the time Allison was 4, she was reading and spelling words using phonics and doing simple math with manipulatives. Christopher can read the words he is interested in, like Angry Birds, Batman, Stop, Go, Allison, Christopher, Plants vs Zombies but he isn't able to do word manipulation like building -at words.
So why am I so worried, he's in pre-k and has almost an entire school year to go? I worry because I don't know how much his success in Kindergarten is going to affect his future. What if he isn't able to succeed in a regular education classroom? Is he going to be tainted for the rest of his life....set up to not graduate....go to college....get married...have a family? This is what goes through your head when your child is different. We have a happy boy that has progressed so much but the unknown future lingers. It is this unknown that saddens me today. Would I really want to know the future if I could? Allison's future is pretty set. I guess she could always change it but my vision for her is to graduate with her class and go on to college. She wants to be a vet and I can see that happening if that maintains her goal. I'm not sure about that future for Christopher. Perhaps not knowing the future is what will keep us going. If we knew what would happen then we might not work as hard or give up if the future looked too bleak and Christopher can't afford us to give up.
Worrying doesn't do me a lot of good. It does make me think about all of the progress he has made but as I sit here and he starts doing his weird finger/hand thing I am reminded that we still have a ways to go. So on it goes....taking it day by day....one step at a time....
