Christopher has a communication folder that travels between home and school everyday. It is kinda cool that the teacher is doing this for every child in her class. This is the first year that has happened. So a note came home yesterday about Christopher's hand movements. We've been aware of this and it is one of those things that makes me cringe when I catch him doing it. It really hit me hard again when the school is seeing the same thing.
Let me offer a description of what I'm talking about. When Christopher is involved in imaginary play (which is pretty awesome) he will roll his hands together up in front of his face or play with his hands/fingers in other non-typical ways. He's playing on his own and may be sitting with some blocks or running around the house.
My first thought was to schedule an appointment with his doctor with this increase in behavior but then I wonder what will the doctor do. I call and say what....umm...my kid's not sick but I'd like a sick visit to discuss his hand play.... What do I expect to happen? I think his progress and the mildness of symptoms hasn't prepared us for some of the obstacles that are coming our way.
I am also amped up because we are in the beginning stages of transitioning to Kindergarten and I'm scared to death. I'm afraid of the decisions that are being made in the next few months and the impact it could have on the rest of his life. We have his first meeting in a little over a week to discuss the assessments that need to be completed and work on redetermining eligibility. I know what I want for him. I want him to go to his home school, spend the day in a regular kindergarten classroom (with maybe a little pull-out time) and ride the regular bus with his sister. But....perhaps what I want isn't the best for his needs....
Walk 2011
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Worry Worry Worry
Things have been going exceptionally well....at least for Christopher. He was home from school last week after he lost his voice but he's more than made up for that this week. My husband and I have decided that we take turns fretting about the future. So right now it's my turn.
Christopher is in his last year of pre-k and goes off to Kindergarten next fall. Normally I wouldn't mind such a milestone. We even started Allison a year early because she was so smart....sometimes I regret that but she wouldn't have the friends she has or be who she is if we had done it differently. My strong almost 9 year old is in 4th grade and doing awesome. She is in the advanced math group and has always been in the top of percentile for reading. I think it is because things have come so easily for her that I fret over Christopher. By the time Allison was 4, she was reading and spelling words using phonics and doing simple math with manipulatives. Christopher can read the words he is interested in, like Angry Birds, Batman, Stop, Go, Allison, Christopher, Plants vs Zombies but he isn't able to do word manipulation like building -at words.
So why am I so worried, he's in pre-k and has almost an entire school year to go? I worry because I don't know how much his success in Kindergarten is going to affect his future. What if he isn't able to succeed in a regular education classroom? Is he going to be tainted for the rest of his life....set up to not graduate....go to college....get married...have a family? This is what goes through your head when your child is different. We have a happy boy that has progressed so much but the unknown future lingers. It is this unknown that saddens me today. Would I really want to know the future if I could? Allison's future is pretty set. I guess she could always change it but my vision for her is to graduate with her class and go on to college. She wants to be a vet and I can see that happening if that maintains her goal. I'm not sure about that future for Christopher. Perhaps not knowing the future is what will keep us going. If we knew what would happen then we might not work as hard or give up if the future looked too bleak and Christopher can't afford us to give up.
Worrying doesn't do me a lot of good. It does make me think about all of the progress he has made but as I sit here and he starts doing his weird finger/hand thing I am reminded that we still have a ways to go. So on it goes....taking it day by day....one step at a time....
Christopher is in his last year of pre-k and goes off to Kindergarten next fall. Normally I wouldn't mind such a milestone. We even started Allison a year early because she was so smart....sometimes I regret that but she wouldn't have the friends she has or be who she is if we had done it differently. My strong almost 9 year old is in 4th grade and doing awesome. She is in the advanced math group and has always been in the top of percentile for reading. I think it is because things have come so easily for her that I fret over Christopher. By the time Allison was 4, she was reading and spelling words using phonics and doing simple math with manipulatives. Christopher can read the words he is interested in, like Angry Birds, Batman, Stop, Go, Allison, Christopher, Plants vs Zombies but he isn't able to do word manipulation like building -at words.
So why am I so worried, he's in pre-k and has almost an entire school year to go? I worry because I don't know how much his success in Kindergarten is going to affect his future. What if he isn't able to succeed in a regular education classroom? Is he going to be tainted for the rest of his life....set up to not graduate....go to college....get married...have a family? This is what goes through your head when your child is different. We have a happy boy that has progressed so much but the unknown future lingers. It is this unknown that saddens me today. Would I really want to know the future if I could? Allison's future is pretty set. I guess she could always change it but my vision for her is to graduate with her class and go on to college. She wants to be a vet and I can see that happening if that maintains her goal. I'm not sure about that future for Christopher. Perhaps not knowing the future is what will keep us going. If we knew what would happen then we might not work as hard or give up if the future looked too bleak and Christopher can't afford us to give up.
Worrying doesn't do me a lot of good. It does make me think about all of the progress he has made but as I sit here and he starts doing his weird finger/hand thing I am reminded that we still have a ways to go. So on it goes....taking it day by day....one step at a time....
Thursday, April 5, 2012
What's missing...
We had Christopher's IEP yesterday. I think it went fairly well. Pre-school has been good for him, although I'm sure I'll need to let the summer teacher know to write in his book. The thought of the next IEP as we prepare for Kindergarten is scary though. My goals for him include being able to participate in the regular education classroom (hopefully without an aide 1-on-1) and to ride the regular bus. His sister has one year on the bus with him before she changes to middle school and leaving an hour earlier. I think we would have more success if he has her to help him for that year. If we miss that window, I see him riding a special bus through the rest of school.
While that is on my mind, it is not what's missing... I just read a post on Facebook about what kids with Autism wishes everyone else understood (It's posted at the bottom). Some of these things apply to us more than others. It was when I got to number 9 that it really clicked (don't read ahead just yet, I'm getting there). Another post written a couple of days ago by a friend came to mind about a conversation she had with her son, who is close to Christopher's age and also has autism. She wrote about their exchange of "I love you". I can get hugs and even once in a while a kiss from Christopher (although he thinks it is fun to wipe off kisses). My family has never been one to verbalize emotions well but it is that silence after telling Christopher "I love you" that clicked with me today. That is what is missing...the "I love you mommy" that is supposed to follow. While this does make me tear up a little, my goal is not to achieve pitty but to motivate myself to be more vocal in emotions and telling the people around me that I love them and with time, maybe those missing words while cross his lips too.
While that is on my mind, it is not what's missing... I just read a post on Facebook about what kids with Autism wishes everyone else understood (It's posted at the bottom). Some of these things apply to us more than others. It was when I got to number 9 that it really clicked (don't read ahead just yet, I'm getting there). Another post written a couple of days ago by a friend came to mind about a conversation she had with her son, who is close to Christopher's age and also has autism. She wrote about their exchange of "I love you". I can get hugs and even once in a while a kiss from Christopher (although he thinks it is fun to wipe off kisses). My family has never been one to verbalize emotions well but it is that silence after telling Christopher "I love you" that clicked with me today. That is what is missing...the "I love you mommy" that is supposed to follow. While this does make me tear up a little, my goal is not to achieve pitty but to motivate myself to be more vocal in emotions and telling the people around me that I love them and with time, maybe those missing words while cross his lips too.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Parent Teacher Conference
We had Christopher's parent/teacher conference last night. He continues to do well overall but has some definite deficits. He has mastered the concept that people have names and knows his friends at school. Socially, he will give his friends a hug and play with them on occasion. There is more success when he is outside and is in a "tag" sort of mood. He still prefers parallel play or complete independence. Communication continues to improve. There are a lot of times that I still can not understand what he is trying to say but he is saying it in full sentences.
I think my biggest concern is his need for "adult support" (as it is written in his IEP). Essentially, this means he requires a teacher's aide to be with him individually ALL of the time. He gets a little more freedom during free play activities. He will not sit for circle time or for table activities for extended amounts of time without an adult with him. This is a skill he must have by kindergarten. A teacher with one classroom aide for 20+ kids will not be functional for him when he needs this much support in a class with 10 kids, a teacher and 2 classroom aides.
Academically, I think he will be a successful learner but I think it may take longer or a different route to get there. He can identify some written words but they are words he uses frequently with Thomas, You-tube or other things he wants to type to bring up on the computer. I haven't tried to have him type Christopher lately. He was getting pretty close to that before. One of the recommendations listed was for us to post words around the house labeling objects. We also work on counting and letter identification all of the time. Perhaps his greatest strength/interest will also be a hindrance, he loves the computer, TV and Kindle Fire but we need to pull him out of the world of electronics and be able to focus on other things.
We have come a long way but we still have so much more to do.
I think my biggest concern is his need for "adult support" (as it is written in his IEP). Essentially, this means he requires a teacher's aide to be with him individually ALL of the time. He gets a little more freedom during free play activities. He will not sit for circle time or for table activities for extended amounts of time without an adult with him. This is a skill he must have by kindergarten. A teacher with one classroom aide for 20+ kids will not be functional for him when he needs this much support in a class with 10 kids, a teacher and 2 classroom aides.
Academically, I think he will be a successful learner but I think it may take longer or a different route to get there. He can identify some written words but they are words he uses frequently with Thomas, You-tube or other things he wants to type to bring up on the computer. I haven't tried to have him type Christopher lately. He was getting pretty close to that before. One of the recommendations listed was for us to post words around the house labeling objects. We also work on counting and letter identification all of the time. Perhaps his greatest strength/interest will also be a hindrance, he loves the computer, TV and Kindle Fire but we need to pull him out of the world of electronics and be able to focus on other things.
We have come a long way but we still have so much more to do.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Overall Update
Behavior has become more trying recently. The other day I turned a movie on for Christopher but I apparently did not do it correctly so he decided to "beat me up". He was hitting, kicking and yelling. At this point I was in disbelief at his behavior. We have not had to deal with aggression very often. When he would have a tantrum it was typically very short and he would quickly move on to something else. However, the behavior has crossed into the classroom and he is hitting the students and staff. This is a behavior that has to stopped now. We know the reason for the behavior. He isn't getting his way or is frustrated with something. Even though this is typical for small children we have to be on high alert because I know what it can lead to. Things that other parents can correct or know the child will grow out of can not be handled haphazardly for us.
I have constantly tried to stop behaviors that were a higher risk for him. I try to keep him from getting into too many routines or rituals. We are fortunate to not have to deal with meltdowns as often as others. However, when in the car, Christopher thinks he should be navigating. There are so many times he yells "that way" and it isn't the way we are going. This is often followed by some kicking and screaming. Christopher may get into a routine of stepping on certain blocks on the sidewalk or having to use a particular interest. I have been able to move past some of the ritualistic behaviors.
We are noticing more of the "autistic" behaviors recently and the school reports they see them consistently too. This behaviors include: spinning, flapping, and elusive eye contact. There are probably more but those are the biggest ones. Christopher has some good strengths too. He has a friend at school that he will play with but still prefers to play alone. He also shows affection and emotions. At home, hugs are usually prompted by a request; kisses are much harder to get and to give.
His verbal skills continue to improve but I'm questioning my decision to slack off on his alternative communication. The other day he wanted something and I had no clue. We finally got him to use his PECs to say "red" and he was saying a number that I can't recall now, but we never figured it out. I may need to consider purchasing the communication device for the Kindle Fire after all.
I have constantly tried to stop behaviors that were a higher risk for him. I try to keep him from getting into too many routines or rituals. We are fortunate to not have to deal with meltdowns as often as others. However, when in the car, Christopher thinks he should be navigating. There are so many times he yells "that way" and it isn't the way we are going. This is often followed by some kicking and screaming. Christopher may get into a routine of stepping on certain blocks on the sidewalk or having to use a particular interest. I have been able to move past some of the ritualistic behaviors.
We are noticing more of the "autistic" behaviors recently and the school reports they see them consistently too. This behaviors include: spinning, flapping, and elusive eye contact. There are probably more but those are the biggest ones. Christopher has some good strengths too. He has a friend at school that he will play with but still prefers to play alone. He also shows affection and emotions. At home, hugs are usually prompted by a request; kisses are much harder to get and to give.
His verbal skills continue to improve but I'm questioning my decision to slack off on his alternative communication. The other day he wanted something and I had no clue. We finally got him to use his PECs to say "red" and he was saying a number that I can't recall now, but we never figured it out. I may need to consider purchasing the communication device for the Kindle Fire after all.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Birthday Party
Christopher had his first real birthday party with friends this past Monday night. His last three have been small family parties after church at McDonald's. He started school right after his 3rd birthday so this year he had classmates to invite. Christopher went to a classmate's party just a couple of weeks ago at Chuck E. Cheese. I had dreams of having his party at Pump It Up, an inflatable play place but it wasn't in the cards financially. It's expensive to host a birthday party. So I made a late decision to do Chick-fil-a and it turned out great. We had a good group of kids show up from school, church and family friends and they all seemed to have a blast. I felt a little bad for the other patrons who had to endure the noise in the play area.
His dad and I made the cupcakes and they turned out great! We had a Spider-man cupcake tree and offered two flavors. The kids liked the kid's meals and ice-cream and then we did presents. I'm glad we opened them there because it would have been too late to do it once we got home. Poor Christopher wasn't able to play with anything when we got home because he had to go to bed and then in the morning he had to go to school. What a crappy start to birthday presents! I had Mam-maw pick up some of them to take to her house so he'd finally get to play with stuff.
He got to celebrate his birthday again at school. He wouldn't wear his birthday crown but enjoyed the snacks I sent in.
One is his old teachers got to see him in action at the Chick-fil-a party to see how much he has progressed. Christopher was playing with his friends and I got him to talk some during the party. It's amazing to think my little guy is 4 years old now.
His dad and I made the cupcakes and they turned out great! We had a Spider-man cupcake tree and offered two flavors. The kids liked the kid's meals and ice-cream and then we did presents. I'm glad we opened them there because it would have been too late to do it once we got home. Poor Christopher wasn't able to play with anything when we got home because he had to go to bed and then in the morning he had to go to school. What a crappy start to birthday presents! I had Mam-maw pick up some of them to take to her house so he'd finally get to play with stuff.
He got to celebrate his birthday again at school. He wouldn't wear his birthday crown but enjoyed the snacks I sent in.
One is his old teachers got to see him in action at the Chick-fil-a party to see how much he has progressed. Christopher was playing with his friends and I got him to talk some during the party. It's amazing to think my little guy is 4 years old now.
Friday, January 20, 2012
T.G.I.F.
What a week! We had Monday off for Martin Luther King, Jr. day so that was nice but it still made for a long week. Poor Christopher hated getting dragged out of bed everyday. Unfortunately, it probably won't last for the weekend. Since we can sleep in, he'll be up at 6:30 but I'll keep my fingers crossed.
The hand flapping has been a little worse this week and he even did the fingers in front of the eyes thing once. I haven't been keeping to his vitamin regiment, which is just a multi-vitamin and an omega 3. I haven't been consistent enough with it to know if it is making any sort of change. The omega 3 is supposed to help with brain development. Schedules have been thrown off since the holidays. He hasn't been to his Monday sitter since before the holiday and will finally go back to her next week.
I am very fortunate that we have been able to keep him off of a strict routine. We can get in the car and just go however, he may protest if we don't go the way he thinks we should go but he does well. The longest tantrums are when we go past the McDonald's or Chick-fil-a and he thinks we need to go there. But even those are short.
Our little man will be turning 4 soon. We are having a "real" birthday party this year. The last few have been after church at McDonald's and we would have a few family members come but that was also part of our normal after church routine. This year, I was able to invite his class from school and he does have at least one friend coming and also a couple of other friends he has made. I'm also taking on a new endeavor by baking cupcakes instead of ordering a cake.
The hand flapping has been a little worse this week and he even did the fingers in front of the eyes thing once. I haven't been keeping to his vitamin regiment, which is just a multi-vitamin and an omega 3. I haven't been consistent enough with it to know if it is making any sort of change. The omega 3 is supposed to help with brain development. Schedules have been thrown off since the holidays. He hasn't been to his Monday sitter since before the holiday and will finally go back to her next week.
I am very fortunate that we have been able to keep him off of a strict routine. We can get in the car and just go however, he may protest if we don't go the way he thinks we should go but he does well. The longest tantrums are when we go past the McDonald's or Chick-fil-a and he thinks we need to go there. But even those are short.
Our little man will be turning 4 soon. We are having a "real" birthday party this year. The last few have been after church at McDonald's and we would have a few family members come but that was also part of our normal after church routine. This year, I was able to invite his class from school and he does have at least one friend coming and also a couple of other friends he has made. I'm also taking on a new endeavor by baking cupcakes instead of ordering a cake.
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