What's missing...

We had Christopher's IEP yesterday.  I think it went fairly well.  Pre-school has been good for him, although I'm sure I'll need to let the summer teacher know to write in his book.  The thought of the next IEP as we prepare for Kindergarten is scary though.  My goals for him include being able to participate in the regular education classroom (hopefully without an aide 1-on-1) and to ride the regular bus.  His sister has one year on the bus with him before she changes to middle school and leaving an hour earlier.  I think we would have more success if he has her to help him for that year.  If we miss that window, I see him riding a special bus through the rest of school.

While that is on my mind, it is not what's missing...  I just read a post on Facebook about what kids with Autism wishes everyone else understood (It's posted at the bottom).  Some of these things apply to us more than others.  It was when I got to number 9 that it really clicked (don't read ahead just yet, I'm getting there).  Another post written a couple of days ago by a friend came to mind about a conversation she had with her son, who is close to Christopher's age and also has autism.  She wrote about their exchange of "I love you".  I can get hugs and even once in a while a kiss from Christopher (although he thinks it is fun to wipe off kisses).  My family has never been one to verbalize emotions well but it is that silence after telling Christopher "I love you" that clicked with me today.  That is what is missing...the "I love you mommy" that is supposed to follow.  While this does make me tear up a little, my goal is not to achieve pitty but to motivate myself to be more vocal in emotions and telling the people around me that I love them and with time, maybe those missing words while cross his lips too.

10 Things My Autistic Kids Wished You Knew.
1. I’m sorry I have fits but I’m not a spoiled brat. I’m just so much younger on the inside than I am on the outside.

2. I’m easily overwhelmed because I see and hear everything. I hear the lights hum and clock tick. Everything is so loud it makes my head hurt all the time and my eyes hurt from all the bright lights.

3. I’m not stupid, I’m actually ve...ry smart. I just don’t learn the way you want me to. Please learn about Autism so you know how to help me better understand what you are trying to teach.

4. Please don’t be mad at mommy and daddy because we don’t come over for holidays or birthdays. They really want to go but I don’t do well at another person’s house. It’s too overwhelming for me and they know that. They don’t go because they love me, NOT because they don’t like you.

5. Please have patience with me. I try really hard to make good decisions but I can be very impulsive at times.

6. Yes, I have Autism but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person because of it. If anything, I’m actually more of a person in spite of it.

7. My house might be messy sometimes. It’s because my mommy and daddy spend all their time trying to find new ways to help me or teach my brother to talk..

8. Just because I can’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you are saying. My feelings can be hurt just like yours.

9. I wish my mommy and daddy knew how much I love them. I have a really hard time with emotions and I don’t always like to be touched. But I love them more than anything in the world, even more then my Lego’s.

10. I know I can be frustrating but don’t tell me I won’t amount to anything because I have Autism. If you love and support me I WILL do great things in my life in spite of my challenges. ♥

By lostandtired