Birthday Party

Christopher had his first real birthday party with friends this past Monday night.  His last three have been small family parties after church at McDonald's.  He started school right after his 3rd birthday so this year he had classmates to invite.  Christopher went to a classmate's party just a couple of weeks ago at Chuck E. Cheese.  I had dreams of having his party at Pump It Up, an inflatable play place but it wasn't in the cards financially.  It's expensive to host a birthday party.  So I made a late decision to do Chick-fil-a and it turned out great.  We had a good group of kids show up from school, church and family friends and they all seemed to have a blast.  I felt a little bad for the other patrons who had to endure the noise in the play area.

His dad and I made the cupcakes and they turned out great!  We had a Spider-man cupcake tree and offered two flavors.  The kids liked the kid's meals and ice-cream and then we did presents.   I'm glad we opened them there because it would have been too late to do it once we got home.  Poor Christopher wasn't able to play with anything when we got home because he had to go to bed and then in the morning he had to go to school.  What a crappy start to birthday presents!  I had Mam-maw pick up some of them to take to her house so he'd finally get to play with stuff.

He got to celebrate his birthday again at school.  He wouldn't wear his birthday crown but enjoyed the snacks I sent in.

One is his old teachers got to see him in action at the Chick-fil-a party to see how much he has progressed.  Christopher was playing with his friends and I got him to talk some during the party.  It's amazing to think my little guy is 4 years old now.

T.G.I.F.

What a week! We had Monday off for Martin Luther King, Jr. day so that was nice but it still made for a long week.  Poor Christopher hated getting dragged out of bed everyday.  Unfortunately, it probably won't last for the weekend.  Since we can sleep in, he'll be up at 6:30 but I'll keep my fingers crossed.

The hand flapping has been a little worse this week and he even did the fingers in front of the eyes thing once.  I haven't been keeping to his vitamin regiment, which is just a multi-vitamin and an omega 3.  I haven't been consistent enough with it to know if it is making any sort of change.  The omega 3 is supposed to help with brain development.  Schedules have been thrown off since the holidays.  He hasn't been to his Monday sitter since before the holiday and will finally go back to her next week. 

I am very fortunate that we have been able to keep him off of a strict routine.  We can get in the car and just go however, he may protest if we don't go the way he thinks we should go but he does well. The longest tantrums are when we go past the McDonald's or Chick-fil-a and he thinks we need to go there.  But even those are short.

Our little man will be turning 4 soon.  We are having a "real" birthday party this year.  The last few have been after church at McDonald's and we would have a few family members come but that was also part of our normal after church routine.  This year, I was able to invite his class from school and he does have at least one friend coming and also a couple of other friends he has made.  I'm also taking on a new endeavor by baking cupcakes instead of ordering a cake.

I just need to say WOW!

After posting yesterday I went back and read the stuff from last year.  We have really come a long way!  I still have the same fears as described yesterday and saw that I voiced those before but when I started writing, Christopher had virtually no verbal skills. He is now talking in full sentences, using I, me and you, calling people by name...it is just amazing.  Granted, there is still a lot that he says that I can't understand so we guess a good bit.  But even with that he is patient and will say yes or no and repeat it if needed.  Christopher is still pretty easy going though.   After a while he will just move on to something else.

We have also come a long way in toileting.  There are still a lot of accidents, I had to wash a new pair of shoes tonight but I haven't bought pull-ups in over a month.  He stays dry at night and doesn't wet first thing in the morning, which is good because he still comes and crawls into our bed.  Those were some fearful nights/mornings so as soon as he starts waking up we usher him into the bathroom.  I'm not quite as worried now and will give him a little more time to wake up.  We still have to do a lot of cues throughout the day to go to the bathroom.

Pretend play and cooperative play are also coming along.  His sister is an elaborate story teller, and changes the rules of the game as she goes along, but he can play right along with her.  They were vampires earlier today, but only when they had the fake teeth in.

Another amazing feat, today we had lunch out at a sit down restaurant and there were no meltdowns or attempts at escape!  We did have the trusty Kindle Fire and he watched cartoons on it for part of the meal.  His sister did complain that he had it, but it was working.  However, the car ride wasn't as smooth. He has his own sense of direction and I was not driving the way he wanted to go.  But like before the meltdowns or tantrums are still very short.

I just need to teach him the difference between a watering can (which we don't own) and a gas can.  Back in the spring he poured gas on my mom's flowers to "water" them and while I was cleaning the garage today he lugged an almost empty can down over the hill to "water" them again. Fortunately, my can had a safety latch on it otherwise, the flowers would have gotten it by the time I got to him.

What is "normal"?

Well, I got off to a good start and then it kinda fizzled out.  Let's try this again.

All kinds of stuff has been going on, hence the absence.  We do have an important day approaching.  Our young Christopher turns 4 years old this month.  One of the biggest challenges I have is trying to not look too far into the future.  I can see how far he has come over the past couple of years but the unknown future still scares me.  I know he is only 4 (almost) but I want to know if he will be in regular kindergarten, get a regular diploma, go to college, get married and have a family.  It's hard to not worry about the future.  It's so easy to settle on what he can't do and then be sad about it.

There are many days you wouldn't even be able to tell he was ever on the spectrum and other days when he's flapping or has that look in his eyes.  Do you know the "look"?  It's not necessarily the absent look but just a different look.  For me, it's his autistic look.  I know that autism doesn't come and go like the wind but Christopher is anything but typical, even when it comes to his atypical development.  I'm at the point now that I don't even know what "normal" is for a 4 year old.  Maybe he is acting more normal than I know and I just blow everything out of proportion. 

I've had lots of different times when I thought "I should blog this" but then get distracted so maybe with this little restart I'll manage to write more often.

Lost, Found, Locked Up

I've been meaning to write this blog for a while but I'm just now getting around to it.  Last weekend I lived every mother's worst nightmare.  Was it different because Christopher is autistic?  Hmmmm...probably not.  I think the story is one that everyone has at some point whether the child is special needs or not. 

I still had my second job (working overnight on the weekend) and had just laid down for my before work nap.  (Yep, you read still had....meaning no longer have.)  There was the normal noise as the kids are running around and Danny is yelling at them to be quiet.  Soon after, Allison is back in the house.  She is staying over at mammaw's and forgot some stuff.  The next thing I hear is Danny yelling for Christopher.  I check the windows to see the pool and down to mammaw's and I don't see him.  I call to see if he had already made it down there and was inside but no luck.  We all hit outside.  Of course, Christopher has never responded to his name so why would he now.  I send my mom to the neighbor's house, who is having a big get together and she yells back that they haven't seen him.  I head the other direction through the neighbor's yard asking if they have seen a little boy.  I make it back around to the "party house" and am relieved to see mom with Christopher.  He had joined the other kids at the water hose playing and no one paid any mind to another kid.  All of this probably only took about 10 minutes but it was the longest 10 minutes ever.  Danny and I bring Christopher back home and get our nerves calmed and then head back over to party.  I had planned to work my shift and quit at the end (cause I wasn't scheduled for over two weeks and could do a "notice") but decided it was a sign and sent a text to the supervisor that I was calling off and I'd get my resignation letter sent in.

So that covers the lost and found....but locked up.....I had already scheduled to have a fence put in at the side of the house when we lost Christopher.  That fence is now up (minus the 2 gates) and I got my brother-in-law to move the porch rail from the side to block the front entrance.  I want to make the front of the porch a gate but the rail looks nice.  As soon as the gates get put up this week the kids will be able to play on the porch and in the side yard without the fear of them wondering off.  Hopefully the dog will behave in the yard too and the kids can be out with her to throw sticks or whatever.  We'll be able to open the front door this fall when its nice outside and the kids and dog can have the run of the place.  (we'll have to hide the cat away so she doesn't get out.)

I'm the mom

I was a bit skeptical when Christopher started pre-school after his birthday.  My fears have slowly dissipated and I ended the school year feeling good about how it had gone.  Summer school has been a totally different matter.  For some reason the school and bus don't want to deal with me.  Before the term started I expected to receive a phone call regarding the transportation.  The call never came so I had to bug the bus garage to make sure Christopher wasn't going to get left at school.  When he started in January the driver made an extra trip to meet myself and Christopher and have him get used to the van.  I talked to the summer bus driver and it was like I was an annoyance in wanting to make sure everything was set up.  Apparently he had called the sitter to arrange for Christopher's drop off.  I ended up having to alter his transportation arrangement and called the bus garage to get it set up.  I wasn't able to speak to the person in charge so I left a message about the change and was told I would get a call back.  I left MY number.  The change involved adding a pick-up for Christopher in the morning at his sitters.  Did I get the call back? NO.  The driver told the sitter that he would be there to get Christopher at 8:15.  Don't you think I'd like to know this information.  Anyway, its all settled and tomorrow is the first day of the new routine.  You better believe I'll be noting this if I get any evaluations to fill out, but then they may just go right to the sitter.

Okay so now I'll move off of the bus and talk about school.  Does anyone know what an IEP is?  That magic little legal document that outlines the services.  I give it a few days and no one is writing in the communication book.  I write a note to please write in the communication book, still nothing.  I have to call the teacher, and ended up getting a substitute to tell them to write in his communication book.  Summer school is only 4-5 weeks long, who needs a substitute the second week?  I let it slide.  At least now she is writing in the book.  When I talk to the sitter she requests a way to know if Christopher has eaten his lunch since he is so picky and she gives him something when he gets off of the bus.  I write a somewhat lengthy blurb in his communication book about a particular achievement we have made and at the end I write a request to write how well he ate his lunch.  Do you think they did that?  NOPE!  I also noted for them (because I'm about 100% sure they don't know what an IEP is) that Christopher has an allowance for an adaptable chair.  She did let me know that they were not using the chair and he was sitting at the table.  I will have to follow-up with his regular teacher about whether or not to use the chair when school starts in August.

My overall opinion of extended school year so far: a D-.  That's being hopeful that he is receiving some socialization and educational services while he is there.

By the way, the achievement: I got Christopher to say his name in response to "who are you", although you wouldn't know he said Christopher.

July 4, 2011

We had a pretty awesome July 4th this year.  We had family and friends join us for an afternoon of swimming, games, jumping, eating and fireworks.  Christopher changed clothes several times throughout the day.  He would get in the pool and then get dried off and dressed just to get back in again later.  I don't think he ate much beyond chips and the family's secret zucchini chocolate bars.  He even enjoyed the fireworks and was able to hold a sparkler without trying to touch the end.  We did have to hold him back from trying to blow-out the lit fountains.

My 2 month old niece made an appearance and Christopher is infatuated with his little cousin.  He likes to know where she is at all times and really wanted her to get down and play with him.  He tried to pry mammaw's hands off of her so she could get down.  Ever since our last visit, he has loved babies.  He went to the park with Mammaw and every time a baby came by he was on it.  I don't know if he thinks all babies are Scarlett or if he just likes babies.  He will say "Where Baby At?" and "Baby all gone" in the correct situations.  When the family was packing up to go home he kept hanging around their car and I had to go get him.  As they pulled up the driveway, Christopher said "Baby all gone" and he was sad. 

We haven't had a lot of success in getting Christopher to respond to "what's your name" or to get a reaction when we pretend to be sad or crying but he can put out that pouty lip and be the saddest boy in town when he wants to be.

Overall, it was a great day.  I didn't feel stressed over making sure Christopher was where he was supposed to be.  He either was or there was enough adults keeping an eye on things that I was alright.  I head out of town in the morning for a week and will drop Allison off at her cousin's so it will be just Daddy and Christopher holding down the fort.  Christopher goes back to school on Thursday so hopefully daddy can keep it all straight and get him to where he needs to go each day.