I wear my scarlet letter proudly. I openly share my experience and our success with Christopher. I am a huge advocate of early identification. I think the wait-and-see approach is one of the worse things you can do to a child with difficulties.
Parents can not rely on their doctors to sense something is wrong. Think about how much time the doctor actually spends in the room with you and your child during the routine well-child check-ups. When they ask you the questions, how do you answer? Do you respond with what you know they expect? And when you do see a problem and bring it to the doctor's attention what is the response? Before I had a child that had no out of the ordinary needs, our pediatrician was just fine. When I started to question things and had to be more pro-active in Christopher's care his pediatrician was not so great anymore. Pediatricians are very difficult to obtain in this area. Unless your child is born under the care of a pediatrician good luck getting or switching. Fortunately, there are several pediatricians in the practice we use so I was able to start scheduling with a different doctor. It was amazing to have a doctor listen and converse the first time I took him in to this different doctor. He listens to my concerns and things I have researched and is able to speak to me normally. I guess the point of this tangent is that if you see something you are not sure about, learn more and don't be ashamed to seek help.
I took Christopher to his sitter's this morning and ended up in another one of those conversations. Usually the conversation starts with "how did you know Christopher had Autism" but this one was a little different. This sitter has cared for Christopher since I returned to work after his birth. She has seen the progress he has made over the last year. She saw him "at his worst" when the symptoms were more apparent. This conversation was more "how do I tell another parent that I think their child has Autism". People come across kids at various points in their lives. There are some jobs, like child care that will place you with kids more often. It can be a touchy subject to try to bring up with a parent. After a brief conversation, my suggestion was to suggest to the parents a hearing test or speech evaluation. This other child has other symptoms but focus on the apparent ones. He is almost 2 and doesn't respond to his name or have any words. If the parents will start there, his evaluators should notice the other stuff and may be able to approach it easier. Parents will respond in different ways. There may be relief that someone else has seen the problem too. There may be anger at the thought of their child being different.
After a diagnosis or a suggestion of a diagnosis, parents will go through the stages of grief. The child has not changed but the parent's view may have. The dreams are different. Instead of the dream for graduation, college, marriage and kids the dreams may be more short-term. The dream may be for the child to learn to say a couple of words, to not have melt-downs, potty training, using silverware, playing independently, playing with others, to give hugs and kisses without prompts and a number of other things. The bigger dreams are still there but I try not to think about those. We have no idea how far Christopher will be able to go. My furthest goal (or worry) right now is probably trying to figure out if he will need a special ed classroom or if his needs will be met in general ed for Kindergarten and this is 2 years away.
I will continue to be a resource to those that need me. I will advocate for early identification and intervention. I will continue to dread the next time a family is faced with the possibility their child has Autism. I will continue to let them know their lives are not over and their child is the same one they loved yesterday.
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